PHONEY WAR

I guess most people have seen the TV trivia programme Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Or its foreign equivalent.

Over the school winter holiday, my daughter granted my presence in the lounge as she lounged and gamed on the computer and watched TV and did her puzzle books and drank diet coke and ate crisps – all at the same time some days. She is an expert at multi-tasking.

The rules are simple: I am not allowed to answer a question on WWTBAM unless she is stumped. We have to see how much we would have won – we often win more pretend money than many of the participants, I am happy to reveal.

If we are both scratching our heads, we have to suggest a friend who would have a fair chance of getting the question right. Now I know TV edits out the boring bits for effect, and since the “Major And The Man Who Coughed In The Audience Scandal” we know the contestants get more than half a minute to ponder over their answers.

But if you ever find yourself on WWTBAM and need to use your Phone A Friend Lifeline I suggest you plan ahead and ensure said friend is online with Google at the ready to answer your distress call. Even if Chris Tarrant really does just permit 30 seconds for the phone call, I wager anyone who can type at a reasonable speed should be able to discover, say, the real name of Garth Brooks, John le Carre or Michael Caine easily within 30 seconds. I tried it out on a friend and her response on Brooks was less than 10 seconds.

My daughter suggested that might be considered cheating. I informed her it was fair-practice to use reasonable resources. Of course, I am in the right.